We’ve been talking about our own presents past and future, but what if you’re someone else buying for the engineer in your life? They can have exotic tastes, so what better time of year to rein in their spending and remind them of the things that really matter at Christmas. With gifts big and small, here we present the non-engineers’ guide to what they really need… They will thank you for them, and better still, you’ll be able to afford that holiday or put the kids through college with all the money not spent on magic toys that will be on Ebay before they can say Version 2…
Clip-On Tuner £50/$60
If there’s one thing more painful or dissonant than than the kids’ carol concert (just kidding), it must be a chorus of out of tune instruments threatening to turn your engineer’s next opus into Amateur Hour.
The Peterson StroboClip HD is about as good as it gets when it comes to professional clip-on tuners. StroboClip HD features the same tenth-of-a-cent accuracy as all Peterson Strobe Tuners and comes fully loaded with a bright high-definition screen, over 50 Sweetened tunings and alternate temperaments to cover a vast array of string and wind instruments. The soft rubber-lined jaws protect their instrument's finish while offering a firm grip for maximum signal tracking.
For a micro stocking filler, Boss’ TU-02 is the best-kept secret that gets the same job done for a fraction of the cost, with four modes and auto-power off.
High-Quality Instrument Cable - £20/$25
Do sound engineers really need all those cables and leads? They’ll never be able to give you a straight answer, but one thing is for sure: they will have already spent far too much money on ones that are apparently “no longer supported”, or that have stopped working all together despite promises of ‘lifetime guarantees’ and various coatings and chemicals designed to make them go faster in some way.
What they really needed all along was something that was future proof, repairable, and well-made with decent parts. Something that is around 5 metres or 15 feet long is short enough to be tidy in the studio, but long enough to give them time to remember that they’re still attached to their gear when they finally decide to leave the studio because they’re hungry.
“Leave-In” Thumb Drive - £10/$13
Have you ever noticed how bad the engineer in your life is at A) Not losing things, B) Finding things, and/or C) Seeing things that are already there? Maybe what they need is a ‘stay in’ USB drive for that visiting data that only need be jettisoned when the job is complete. These are big enough to cope, and small enough to stay in their computer without getting knocked or damaged. Genius. And, a smaller capacity one that isn’t big enough to contain their Entire Career isn’t going to make them cry when they eventually manage to lose it anyway.
Mic Stand Plectrum Holder - £5/$6
On the subject of not losing things, this gizmo allows them do what they do best. That is losing lots of things and just grabbing a new thing without having to find the old one. For many years we wondered what these things actually were. Some thought that they were to disguise the mic stand as the protective armour of some kind of ancient dinosaur. Others thought that they allowed the stand to be used as a more effective weapon against unruly clients or audience members. One thing that a pick holder cannot insure against is your engineer or musician’s ability to forget that they have one before asking everyone in the room if they have a spare pick.
Closed-Back Headphones - £50/$63
The engineer in your life and their friends love nothing more than to look all serious in their headphones. Whether fiddling with knobs, or putting their heart and soul into their next masterpiece, wearing headphones, (especially with eyes closed with one hand held up to one earpiece) makes them feel like their doing their best work.
A pair such as Audio Technica ATH M20X closed-back studio headphones are far from the most expensive on the market but they are comfortable, can take very high levels, and by all accounts they sound pretty good for the money. Plus you can borrow a pair to put on the next time they start going on and on about how they once worked with someone you’ve never heard of.
Pop Shield / Filter - £60/$75
Whether you call it a pop shield, or a pop filter, this gizmo is designed to make the engineer in your life sound like the pro they are. Without it, their £2.5k mic can do a pretty good impression of any supermarket announcement or wedding DJ’s seismic poppings to make everyone plug their ears.
Anything with a decent nylon or even metal barrier with do the trick, with a sturdy enough ‘neck’ and clamp to keep it in place. The Pop Audio metal set is guaranteed to make sure that no-one gets a ladder in their pop shield this Christmas. These have the added advantage of looking more business-like than an old pair of tights over a wire-coat hanger, and have an industrial gooseneck won’t wilt before the party games begin…
Audio Lead Tester - £40/$55
These things can save your engineer a lot of time, stress, and hassle, especially if they like to leave their cave to go out on the road. Some of them actually think it’s better to try lots of other cables instead to see if it’s the one in their hand that’s broken. But isn’t life too short for that?
What they really need is a cable tester. These have lights in them so they can reminisce about making circuits in science class with a battery and a lightbulb, and if they do ever come back from being on the road, they’ll be a lot happier as well…
On-Stand Acoustic Filter - £245/$310
If there’s one thing engineers love to do, it is to hide. We all know that they like hiding in their studio, but did you know that they also like to hide from other people while they are in there? You will have noticed all kinds of strange people in there with the engineer. One of the most flamboyant and eager-to-be-spotted is the singer. Sometimes engineers like to hide from singers because singers can sometimes be a little loud, or grumpy, or otherwise best shielded behind a big thing that allows the engineer to concentrate in their important work… Any one of these shields will help your engineer to make recordings that sound better than the room they were recorded in. Just be prepared for them to hide even more once you’ve given it to them.
Fender Telecaster Chopping Board £35/$45
Some engineers rather fancy themselves as proper chefs who not only appreciate food more than anyone else, but also know how to prepare it better than anyone else. Rather than argue with them, why not just let them get on with it while you put your feet up. This Fender Telecaster Cutting Board is inspired by Fender’s timeless guitar design. Apparently this is “perfect for any Fender fan to get their chops together”. See what they did there? Now all you have to do is wait for the food to arrive while being asked where everything is in the kitchen…
Gratefully Received?
So there we have it. It can be hard knowing what to buy for the engineer in your life, and whatever you decide to get them, let’s hope they appreciate all your extensive research having read this. And remember, if they don’t like what you’ve bought for them, they can always play with the empty box instead…
Have you ever bought them something before that blew their christmas socks off? Share your ideas for that ideal studio gift in the comments.